Skeptical about Love

PS: this is something I wrote a few years back, I no longer stand by my words.  

Could you disagree with me if I claimed that love is just an illusion?

Why do we fall in love?

We each have a set of expectations that get molded as we experience new things or meet new people. At some point, these expectations form your ideal partner.

The more that image in your head conforms to what you see in front of you, the harder you’re likely to fall.

The bad news is that people crave to meet their perfect person. They may, and often do, force themselves to disregard defects… and it is only with time that these surge again.

Another problem is conviction. Once people make up their mind, it is very hard for them to get back on their decision; even more so, if their mind was spoken.

They say opposites attract; but truth be told, you are as likely to fall for someone who is your opposite (fascination) as with someone who resembles you (sympathy).

Why do we stay in relationships?

Fear is an important factor, which people rarely acknowledge. It is the main influence that keeps people in long-term relationships:

• The fear of not meeting someone else
• The fear of breaking the routine
• The fear of loosing friends
• The fear of hurting a partner
• The fear of not belonging
• The fear of facing the world alone

All of it leads to commitment: the will to get reassured that your partner will not abandon you. In some cases, if the person lacks confidence, it may ignite possessiveness and jealousy. 

What's the point of love?

Love has no reason. It’s a mixture of complex emotions. Thus, it has no values. It does not abide to any moral standards; although, it could be tamed by social ones.

It has its share of negative effects. It inhibits ambitions, leads to compromises, creates unmatched pain and suffering, demands time and dedication.

So why do people invest themselves in creating their own misery ?!

Matchmaking in Lebanon

"Are you happy? Does he treat you well?" 

Those were the questions I never got to answer.

"Where is he from? What's his family name?" are the first questions I got asked.

"Does it really matter?" I should have answered. I keep forcing myself to forget how our Lebanese society is built, in vain.

Had he been a foreigner, would you have still asked? No ...But he is cursed to be Lebanese.

Cursed. I said it.

Had there been a purely Lebanese matchmaking website, you'd see added features in the form:

Parents' occupation/ Parents' education/ Region raised in/ Political affiliation/ Social standing/ Total assets/ Yearly salary/ Appartments owned + locations

Did I forget anything?

Oh yes, I did.

 I forgot how I was raised to believe that a kind heart is all that matters.

I forgot that mister perfect is not enough. Forgot? Forgetting entails first knowing. Never did I think that I would need to aim higher. I should have asked for more. I, the idealist, found society to be even more demanding!

"More".

Much more than a soul mate.

I did not know there was such a thing as "more"; more than the 10 pages criteria I was looking for in a man. Apparently, priorities were set differently for society.

You see, when you are Lebanese:

It doesn't matter if he really prays, shares your beliefs and practices the same religion. All that matters is your religion to match the one on his ID. Actually, that itself is not enough. Your religion should match the ID of each and everyone of his family members.

It doesn't matter whether he worked his way from scratch and raised himself a fortune, a name, and a beautiful reputation. All that matters, is his father's name and origins.

 

It doesn't matter whether he is educated, or has great understanding. All that really matters is that he earned his degree, yes, even if he cheated all his way through.

Apparently, I could tear my 10 pages apart. 

Here, in this part of the world, all that really matters is appearances.

Getting Personal

"You become what you assume you hound."

This was a quote I had, for a while, left hanging on my marketing blog. It is not a teenage cry over the meaning of life, but a more refined shout as to what to do with my life. The difference?

It has become a subject on how to best allocate my scarcest resource, time, and best grow my potential.

My issue is simple, I have never dreamt of a white dress, wait let me better rephrase that, I cannot picture myself married. There. I said it. Every time I think of something that truely makes me happy, I realize it is all about being productive. Not many people would say it... but here it goes, "I LOVE to work long hours, more than I enjoy going out".

My dreams? They do not revolve around kids, pearls or diamonds. Yes, I don't dream of a beautiful palace with a pool, even less of that tiara. Sorry girly girls, I love Disney movies, but I just cannot relate to them.

I dream of jobs. I realize it is weird, thank you. So far, here's what would really make me happy, besides my current entrepreneurship work, I dream of:

• Working in digital marketing for the Lebanese Government ( we need it, and I so want to be involved! I have to say, I heart my country.)
• Traveling around the world, participating in workshops, summits and seminars (Boy, do I enjoy it! Can I work on stage? God, please, pretty please)

At least I know I like to affect as many people as I can. Need I get my phD? 

I have to say, I love what I do... But it is good to dream, and I kind of want it all. The problem is, "all" for me kind of stands for work-related ambitions instead of spreading my time evenly between personal and professional.

Love Letter

Who are we, to be granted the right to speak to the highest at any time during the day? Refuse, and still benefit from that grace, for as long as we breathe.

To the love you granted your children, pain grows, as they refuse your presence. The more we know God, the more poignantly we stab Him, when we turn our backs and deny Him.

The more we love God, the happier we are to see Him glorified. The more we cherish those who love and serve Him.

If you love your brother, save him from sinning against the Lord. If you love the Lord, save your brother from sinning against Him.

Follow the path God builds for you, and trust that only what's best for you will happen.

Things unfold when they are good for you and not when you want them to; rather when the time comes and when you are ready.

Time is not what is needed for your destiny to take way, but rather change in you or in others.

For the bad tree to appear as good is no other than the work of Lucifer. For the good tree to appear as bad, is the work of the same. Trust that God is righteous and would put both in their right place in the eyes of the world.

Fight hate with love, treachery with innocence, and let God do the rest, for he leaves not his children behind.

God is not less good than we make Him to be. The good He is, cannot be seen or even conceived by our human brains. If you can "imagine" his love and yet doubt... Be certain that in reality, it is more powerful than your widest fantasies.

Saint Augustine's Divine Providence

Saint Augustine writes in book 12 of Confessions:

"I cannot believe that you gave your most faithful servant Moses a lesser gift than I should desire for myself from you" 

...and continues to define the gift:

"by the use of my heart and my tongue, those books might be produced which so long after were to profit all nations throughout the whole world - from such a great pinnacle of authority- and were to surmount the words of all false and proud teachings."

Of course, he was referring to Genesis, but great is the providence of God, that this gift was to be offered to Saint Augustine himself.

Written in the late 300s AC, Confessions is still as prominent today; such is a gift of God.

I say "divine providence" as Saint Augustine likes to refer to fate and destiny by that term. For to him, man is free and chooses his path, yet this path is overseen and known to the most high. By divine providence, he was granted that which he wrongfully conditioned to God and thus did not ask for "if i had been born in  his time" preceded his statement... and by divine providence, this statement was declared in his autobiography - Confessions- How much more beauty can God's providence hold?

Silence.

Finally, a moment, my own
Not one sound is built to last,
I blinked and change had grown.

Strength, I know you too well
Rotate the landscape's base.

You build me up, to break me down
A shift in space, a brand new place
Nail me on the ground
to make me appear in another face.

I burn a few red lights
As the path dictates my steps

I rest my case,
under each rock I pray to have carved

I stand in line to label the road
and dream my feet marked,
on the pavement, I wish, someday
"my way", would be called.

World in a Trance

As every wish I utter shows its face

I hide from my own cognition,

from the blessings showering grace

Different happiness illusions,

In each I found a different delusion

To the God I have forsaken:

"wash away my dreams

with the useless tears I have dropped"

As you show me the mysteries of the world,

I immerse my skin in refute

You knock the walls down, and I close my eyes

I force my lids to block the light that you shine

Yet at the end of the day, I can no longer pretend

you know that I have seen the glory that is yours:

I understood that we have lost, the ultimate truth, our path

I understood that we have drowned in an unfortunate trance

but mostly,

I understood ...that the world does not understand.